please open this link....

please open this link...even if you despise double clicking....i've tried to live this song for 25 years...i think people everywhere...not just in my little corner of the world should consider embracing it....as christine says...."please don't let another golden moment slip away...."

The Moment Slipped Away..Christine Lavin

i'm taking the day off for a day of reflection...

kids....i'm taking today off to reflect, and to remember and celebrate friends and family and loved ones who have gone on ahead...i think in my lifetime, i will never understand why the best ones are chosen first...maybe it's so we gradually learn not to take life, love, beauty, and all the magic associated, for granted....god, i'm a slow learner...so i'm taking today off to brush up on my study skills....to review all the old chapters...and to stop getting bowled over by 'the tests', the challenges....

...LOVE (yes...the REAL kind) lulu xoxox

ps...i just lit a whole stack of money on fire 'cause i heard that's how you 'western union' money to heaven...it is...right??? somebody has to pay for the beer!! xoxox

halloween.....

i have already confessed to you that halloween isn't my favourite holiday....i still don't have a pumpkin and probably won't get one...most years i buy a pumpkin and then don't bother to carve it, so it may shock you to know that i have a power pumpkin saw...yep, says so right on the package...i use it to cut the roast beef, since my sister took away my electric knife (it was even a wedding gift)....something about electric knives cutting prime rib being sacrilegious....

oh..back to halloween...i tend to look at friends and neighbours a little differently after i have seen them in their costumes...what possesses a person to dress up as a pickle? scares me to think joan at the doctor's office wants to be a pickle...and kids...is that evil costume on the outside what they secretly carry on the inside?....oh and i think it is way more fun to scare kids on any other night than halloween because they're not expecting it!...so go and carve your paddy o'lanterns and jackie o lanterns...pumpkins are for pie!!

...some days are dogs....

lulu slept in this morning!! i am sure my dog, the buddha, turned off the alarm...he has taken to sleeping with me every night now....it's ok if i get there first, but if i don't...it's the couch for me...he's a bouvier, and until you have experienced bouvier flatulence (not jackie bouvier kennedy) you have never known suffering...so, if i don't get there first, it's his poop chute on my pillow instead of his head!!...today is shaping up to be quite the day...i think the mushrooms i picked from the cow pies for last nights pasta sauce were "sillies" (psycicybin mushrooms, magic mushrooms)...that would explain the random thoughts dancing in my head...i thought taking the buddha out in my forest would settle me down...i refer to these woods as my 'back forty'....they are quiet and they stay that way because i post cougar and bear warning signs and then throw a few bones around the start of the trail...still, although i have improved, read on with caution....

when i was young , my bad hockey girls (yet again) took me with them to pick mushrooms in the cow fields on the edge of town...for some reason they always put me out in a field by myself with a couple of stubbies (am i old or what!) of beer and would return for me when it was time to go...well one day, after consuming my beers, i had to pee....couldn't see anybody or anything around so i dropped my bell bottom jeans...la di da...and no shit (no pun intended) i hear heavy breathing over my shoulder...i reacted so fast that i stood up, pee'd on my birkenstocks (yet again!!) and tripped over my levi's back into the biggest cow pie i have ever seen ...and i swear that cow was laughing at me....i ate a lot of beef after that hoping one of those burgers was that damn cow!!....so for lulu, it was a long, long, lonely walk home...the man with the 'honey wagon' picked me up and threw me in the back with his mix for the last few miles home...needless to say, despite being a team, my hockey girls never took me out for mushrooms again...

random thoughts....'hemorrhoids are gods gift to assholes'....'hearse ~ father time's delivery van'...hell hath no fury like an asshole with a lawyer...make that a 2 year old with a lawyer'....'two wongs don't make a right....but you can have one hell of a ping pong game'....these little thoughts brought to mind family suppers at uncle ernie and aunty ellen's, where uncle ernie, right after blessings at their traditional holiday table, and as he was just about to spear that first piece of turkey, would say..."everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten"...the look of horror and despair on my older cousins erwin and eddy's faces was unbelievable.... those words always sent them flying away from the table, fighting over the can of WD 40, racing up the stairs and tearing the mattresses apart...when i got old enough to actually understand what uncle ernie said, i could never figure out why those randy cousins of mine didn't just keep the bed springs 'lubricated' all year long...maybe they were always to busy giving 'thanks'....

i'm starting to feel less 'shroomy' now so you should be safe...my friend dolly invited me to her knitting group on sunday afternoon, stitch and bitch, but she always seems to forget how dangerous i am...i run with scissors...i admit i have knitting needles, but i use them for my souvlaki on the grill...my sister does the same souvlaki thing with her knitting needles, but she has shish kabob skewers that she knits with!!...i think today i have learned that alice isn't the only girl to have had bizarre experiences with mushrooms...tweedle dum, tweedle dee xox

oh kids....it's so exciting to have good friends!! life is one big birthday party, sometimes without the cake, but....if there's one thing i've learned, it's that "you can't have your cake and edith too"....i was magically transported to see ani difranco last night....what can i say...she never ceases to amaze me with her strong lyrics and brilliant delivery of them...my favourite t-shirt last night "captalism is the devil's wet dream"....check out her righteous babe records sight...there are other exciting artists to be found there....www.righteousbabe.com....

so...because i skipped out of my little corner of the world yesterday, today the housework remains...to be seen...i must tell you about a local organization i proudly belong to...the international association of intellectual homemakers....our motto is "never let on".....we strive to have simple plans for meals and housework and let all those around us think we worked hard for it..never letting on that it is out of the box, etc....at the supermarket yesterday i invited a man, bob, to join because his wife is sick and he needed some soup for her...i told him all the tricks ie. buy the expensive (i never said we try to save money!) ready to serve chicken noodle soup, go home, put it in a pot, heat it up, make sure to put various kitchen utensils in the washed pile, lovingly serve the wife, and the next time he wants a favour, it's all but guaranteed!!! some people make life so complicated...i won't name names, but it's not always "a good thing", and we don't read martha stewart's 'living' magazine here in my little corner of the world...i was honoured with the front page of the last association newsletter for my original and appealing 'chicken fingers'....i'll post the recipe when i have photos to go along with it...i must sign off, my iv drip of coffee is ready to be hooked up by my wet nurse...stay strong, fly the international association of intellectual homemakers flag, cheers lulu

a few quick thoughts from my little corner of the world....

i do apologize for not spending a lot of time with you today, but there are apples to pick, laundry to fold, fir needles everywhere (google pine needle art richard carpenter, if you can do that in your little corner of the world) and litter boxes to clean...yes, i still have cats...three left...what was i thinking!!....the youngest one was 'free' (except for the flea collars, fumigator and other sundries that totaled $400)...she's on crack...she is so bizarre, that she doesn't even have a name...(sometimes it's... get off those curtains!! stop that you little buggar!! god damn it would you get out of the dryer!!) we usually just call her 'the baby' now, although she answers to 'good girl sally'...sally is my anorexic cat...i have to keep her in the house so she won't blow away!! the other cat is chloe...she has an eating disorder as well...it started when 'the baby' arrived...i have to put on a back brace to lift her up!! spooner didn't have food issues, just curiousity....he was a big boy though...did some hefty damage to that idiot ted's ride on mower!! some pet psychiatrist could make a fortune working with my cats or die trying....

my friend immi...i taught her everything she knows...and some things she doesn't...

imogen heap...2002 japan....i stir her heart...xox

Imogen Heap 'Candlelight' live in Japan

top of the morning!!!.....about bottoms.....

well...lulu has woken up bright and cheery this am despite a night of partying (it feels like my nose is growing....that brings to mind grandmama's generous offer to me as a child...a nose job!! yes, well other kids were being offered ponies and go carts, lulu was offered rhinoplasty...sucks to be little lulu...)...

while my mind is still focused on last night's below the waist blog, i will share 2 little events with you from my little corner of the world...the first is a winter story...burt and gordon are two of my neighbours, next door to each other, across from me...they tend to make cranky over small things...gordon is anal retentive, a fuss pot, while burt is just a fun guy...they have an ongoing battle about burt's son writing his name in pee on gordon's front walk after every fresh snowfall...last winter i dashed outside after hearing gordon ranting and raving about his newly decorated front walk...he shouted at burt, "your son's been writing his name in pee on my front walk again!"....burt took a look and just smiled and said "well it's your daughter's handwriting!"...sucks to be gordon....

the other little story is from last summer at the beach...dennis (our local rebound guy) was at the beach surrounded by women....dale (our librarian) walked up to dennis very disappointed..."hey, dennis, you are always surrounded by beautiful women. what can i do so hot chics will notice me?".....dennis took a quick look up and replied, "stick a potato in your speedo".....the next afternoon, dale returned to dennis and complained, "dennis, i did what you said, and i have walked up and down this beach all day. no women have looked at me, crap, even no guys have looked at me. why?".....dennis glanced up at dale and said, "you're supposed to put the potato in the front!!"....who knew the power of potatoes...besides the irish...

more questions that never seem to get answered...

well...i have just returned from a night on the town....pour a little of that red wine truth serum or some wobbly pops into lulu and things get a little wild!!...

...for years i have had a somewhat nagging curious obsession about the front of mens underwear....it all stems from some discontentment between myself and my brother many years ago...i was 'cross' (that's a nice way of saying pissed off!) with him and wanted revenge...he always waited 'til the very last second to go to the loo (that's bathroom here in my little corner of the world)...i thought if i sewed up all the openings in the front of his underwear, he would wait 'til the last minute and then be panicked when he couldn't guide his one eyed trouser snake through the 'doors'....so i sewed up the 'openings' in all his underwear and waited to hear of my success....well, little did i know that men, boys, girls in boys underwear etc. don't use the openings, they just pull the underwear down and flop over the top...ever since that failed operative, i have made it a point to query men about whether they use the escape route or just flop over the top...

.....if there are men out there who use the corridor i haven't met them or they are very secretive about their point and shoot practices....maybe it's THOSE guys who have lousy aim? i mean really, how hard can it be? ~ get your filthy minds out of the gutter ~ how difficult can it be?....so i would like to know why they are there in the first place? the openings, not the trouser snakes...(did you know it wasn't the apple that tempted eve, it was adam's one eyed trouser snake?)...and why do they make fake ones on little boys underwear? and why are they painted on diapers?...

...then there is another whole issue about mens underwear that gets me 'cross'...how come, with all the extra fabric and sewing (and did you ever notice they inspect mens underwear? what's with that? what are they hoping to find?) mens underwear costs less than ladies underwear? and they are always the best cotton...all we get is extra wide dental floss (fanny floss) and we pay so much more...why?....

....and since most good children are in bed asleep as i write this, i want to know, why condoms are sized like large, xtra large, huge, etc...yet feminine products are mini, minute, microscopic...i would like to see the truth!! men are mini, minute, and microscopic...where do they get condoms to fit those guys? they are easy to identify because they drive big, noisy, shiny cars...and what about women who would like to buy large, heavy duty, catastrophic, feminine products?......

....once upon a time, again, with those bad hockey girls, we ended up in a bar...in this bar we bought things out of dispensers...no, not the aforementioned, but stuff...well, little lulu ended up with a 'peter meter'....let me tell you, besides my 'man in a drawer', that has been the most handy and well used purchase i have ever made...don't use it any more now that i have (according to my friend jeanette) 'given up meat'...but, in my day, let me tell you...a man had to measure up before he could play hide the sausage with me!!....i hope my questions have started the little wheels turning in your heads....oh, and do always remember and never forget..."life's far too mysterious to be taken seriously" oscar wilde

words of wisdom....

i am not sure if all of you know or not, but i'm a bit of an intellectualist...no...intellecteur....no...oh i've got it!.....intellectual!!... there are times when i like to share some of the wisdom that has struck a chord with me..."Only good girls keep diaries; the bad girls don't have time." tallulah bankhead....does a blog count as a diary??..."Good girls go to heaven; bad girls go everywhere."....i don't know who wrote that...i think i am going to hell as i have been around ~ no ~ i mean i have gone a lot of places..."Don't give it away it's all you've got. Once they've got it they won't love you anymore." grandmama...from the day i was born!.... i am still trying to figure out what it is i've got that 'they' want!!...

...my bestest friend in the whole world, phat tommy, died last halloween, very sad....i miss him so very much...we were writing a book together, which i am going to finish on my own as my tommy would have liked...anyhow, besides being the best artist and the bestest friend, he had a lot of wise words, and even though he wasn't quite in my little corner of the world, his words touch me deeply and i think they will touch you too....and on halloween night, as the fireworks go off and everyone is partying...look up to heaven and wave to my tommy, because he is up there waving down at you....xoxo....i want to share some of tommy's wisdom with you 'cause i love you all so much...

...Our economic structure creates homelessness. We make heroes out of some guy who eats S'roids and kicks a football instead of someone who saves lives and delivers babies or is kind to animals. WE belong to the planet NOT it belongs to us. Collectively, we ought to be ashamed of ourselves for screwing the Paradise we've been given. Maybe that's hardwire too? Trading your time for money doesn't make sense to everyone. You can trade your time for money...but ALL the money in the world can't buy back your time. Get desperately ill and see how much your money means then. Money will be here long after we've gone. What counts is what you can take with you, like the goodness and kindness you've left for OTHERS. I can't remember all the stuff over the years I've hustled to buy. But I do remember Auntie B 40 years ago who made great cheese sandwiches and let me have sleepovers after my Dad died. What would you give to see one more time, your loved ones who are gone? Fast fwd that...you have loved ones right now that are being ignored for "money" that will be gone. Don't know what you got...till. Simplicity has been corrupted. I remember during the last year of my Mother's life, she was a shut in...she'd sit at her table waiting for my daily visits, we'd play cards and I'd bring peanuts to hide in a tree she could see from her window. The squirrels would come and hunt for them. I remember the laughter and delight she got watching them, watching the back of Teddy the wonder dog's head as he watched too. That was what I surrendered the last 10 years of my life to do. She wasn't well, so I tried to treat each day like it would be her last...that's priceless. I was alone with Mum when she died. Right in my arms. Killed me, but how fitting. When you're an only, and lose a parent early it draws your family very close, we'd been through a lot together. I'm crying as I write this. Do and say what you can NOW because you may not get a 2nd chance. Gotta go.

another saturday in my little corner of the world....

just another saturday in my little corner of the world....after my porridge for breakfast, i head to the saturday market...i'm supposed to shop for fresh veggies and such, but, since i am being honest with you...i only go so i can get an ice cream cone from ernest and lisette...chocolate, 2 scoops, waffle cone (don't tell the ladies at diabetic kindergarten)....of course now that ice cream is over for the season here in my little corner of the world...i have to settle for ernest's dutch chocolate...

...and of course, there is always visiting that goes on as you run into friends and neighbours....so the first big story today was that loretta has left ted, and is staying and playing at dennis' house...dennis is our local rebound guy...busier than a hockey goalie and makes a lot less money...still...he doesn't complain...and who could blame loretta for leaving ted?...the guy mows his lawn and people's cats in the middle of the night!! girls on the rebound usually stay with dennis until he can no longer pull the wool over their eyes, but all parties seem to part with no regrets....i once asked dennis how he feels about having to take on the big responsibility of ladies on the rebound....he said his 'responsibilty' is big....but he's man enough to handle it!..he had this odd little grin on his face...

....lots of halloween stuff at the market and at the local stores....my little neighbour came over one year as his family was in the throws of setting up their halloween 'display'......"hey, where's all your decorations?".....i said, "do know about scrooge and christmas?".... he replied that he did..."well, i am the scrooge of halloween!!"...."that's ok, we have the grave of marley on our front lawn....i hope it scares the dickens out of you!!"....no...really...i do like children....if they're cooked properly!!...just kidding...or not...katie potato went out trick or treating for the first time and was amazed that you just knock on the door and say trick or treat and they put candy in your bag...each year, i buy less and less candy....i try to make certain i have snacks containing peanuts or made in a factory with peanuts...the allergic kids never seem to come back...i just stay home, turn on the porch light, stick a huge bowl of candy on the porch and enjoy my evening...no knocking at the door, no dog barking from the knocking at the door....the next day, i go out and pull all the toilet paper out of the trees, clean the eggs off the windows, and wash all the grafitti off my car...another uneventful halloween in my little corner of the world....

little announcement...

for those of you who don't live in my little corner of the world...little announcement, but big news!! ani difranco is on the west coast right now!! tonight seattle wa., sunday bellingham wa., tuesday vancouver b.c., and wednesday victoria bc......even if you have been saving up your money to visit my little corner of the world, i think you should spend it to go see ani....she stirs my heart xoxxox

Ani DiFranco

shopping OUTSIDE of my little corner of the world....

today i dug in the deep freeze (it sounds more impressive than 'freezer') for my....costco card!!....yes folks it's true...i do have a costco card...it's not something i'm proud of, or like to discuss with people i don't know really well, and there are still a few people out there that i don't know well...i think that because i am laid up with my wooden leg breaking and all, that i thought it would be ok to stroke the red, white and blue plastic...there's a kinda photo on there of some freakingly terrifying person...what's with that?? takes a lot of the pleasure out of it....

....so, my experiences with costco go back many, many years...one day, we got word, here in my corner of the world, that if you drove for just a little over an hour, you could go to this place called costco....at that time, to join (can you believe it's a membership? i always forget to list that under organizations and affiliations on my CV) you had to belong to some other group or business....i was ok because my business partner and i joined with our art business, "silent partners, art for the tastefully impaired"....they were chomping at the bit to sign us!! the first time i went there i felt like a deer caught in the headlights, totally overwhelmed after coming out of my little corner of the world...but in no time at all, i had thrown my little katie potato out of the 'buggy' and filled it with attractive, tastey and unnecessary items....after a few visits, i was getting out of control...i would shop like a junkie looking for the fix i left somewhere, and couldn't quite find...i would buy so much stuff, that i would have to tie katie potato to the roof so i could fit the $400 worth of diapers in the car (katie potato was lactose intolerant)....in time, i recognized this sad addiction that i had, and worked with many counsellors for many long hours to defeat this monster....to prove my power over the beast, and my unbelievable strength, i kept my card...in the deep freeze under the tilapia filets...under the frozen hash....browns, under the case of frozen peas (bought at costco 7 years ago!)....and after a lot of thought on costco and the dangers involved, i have come to the conclusion that the next 'survivor' locale should be costco!!! .....anybody can survive in the bloody jungle!!

my big fat gay diet.....

back to the basics....homo milk and rainbow bread...

the reason they call it light beer...it's sold with 2 empty bottles!!!

hot chick spice company chocolate wine sauce....

...or is it hot spice chick company....awesome stuff!

hey look....it's elvis!!! he's been here in my computer all along...i never did believe those donut shop sightings and besides...elvis doesn't even like donuts...he like hot chick spice company chocolate wine sauce!!......oh and ME!!!!!

tragedy averted in my little corner of the world...

tragedy was averted this week as the local security forces had to shoot down this dangerous intruder plane....we are happy to report that both pilots ejaculated prior to impact, saving themselves from certain death...

greg laswell.....'how the day sounds'....

....i think i found dave mattews' twin......separated at birth! ....he stirs my heart..xoxox

Greg Laswell - "How the Day Sounds"

tween...

i'm at that awkward age.....too old for starbucks...and too young for tim horton's....

st patrick's day 2010

forget the olympics.....the big event for 2010 is st. patrick's day at the brew pub!!....i am busting at the seams (my leprechaun clothes are too tight) and jumping up and down and up in my lucky leprechaun boots because....next st. patrick's day is going to be the best EVER!!!!...tell all your friends and only the neighbours you can afford to lose, that they need to book their flights and hotels right away (not a lot of places to stay here in my little corner of the world, although anyone with room in their queen size bed is always willing to share)....it will be the first one without the physical presence of my lovely colleen, but do your belt up tight because she will definitely be there in spirit, or in the spirits....something like that...anything can happen when the little leprechauns are on the loose!! the photo on the left is col last st. patrick's day before the green beer kicked in...i'm unable to post photos of her after it kicked in...something about questionable content...a few photos of other celebrants at the mercy of last years perverted little leprechaun....breasts seemed to set him off and there was no turning back....

i have grave concerns about the training these fresh faced young new mcdonald's employees receive.... on the bibs.....yes....mcdonald's has free bibs!....the bibs are covered in some strange characters....they look a lot like characters out of stephen king novels!....slightly demonic...in a mchappy sort of way!...well...the young employees have no idea who these characters are or why they are on the bib...no training whatsoever about these disturbing images!...hold on to your kid's hand a little tighter from now on when you go to mcdonald's and if you have to use a bib (i didn't of course!) place it with the images on the inside, out of sight of these young impressionable minds!.....

...just one other thing while mcdonald's is occupying precious space in my head...what is with the new decor??? have you seen it?? wtf times 10!!! it's like some strange acid flashback from the sixties (not that i would know)....i'd be careful if i were you....timothy leary is not dead...he's alive and working for mcdonald's as an interior designer!!!...and a fireplace?? good god!...isn't it time they learned that flames are for the burger!!....they should move the fireplace into the back and bring the microwave out front! we already chop years off our lives every time we go there...and...

...i have a sneaking suspicion that they put highly addictive secret chemicals in their food....why else would we get "big mac attacks"??....it can't all be explained by 'marijawanna'....admit it...their food is bad with a capital B...yet we will eagerly go in there to get our fix....and...the saddest thing of all...we will roll into the drive through and sit for an hour waiting for it...in my little corner of the world, we have accepted mcd's as a nesessary evil...can't have all our locals 'jonesin' for mchappy (prozac comes to mind) meals or come bergers (viagra)...oops.... sorry...filet of fish...becuase some drugs were slipped in their mcflurry (ecstasy).....hope i haven't spoiled your appetite....stay strong, don't fall for any of their evil twisted ways, cheers, lulu

sorry....but i just have a few more questions about headlights....why are they called headlights when they are not on your head, they don't look like heads, they don't give h....oh sorry...and why do they put headlights on ride-on lawnmowers?? are you supposed to wait until dark and then try to secretly mow the lawn so the neighbours don't know?? in my little corner of the world, only the driver wears earplugs, not the sleeping neighbours...and when we want to hide things from the neighbours, we walk softly and carry night vision goggles (not that i would know)....if curiousity killed my cat (his name was spooner, not because he liked to 'spoon', but because he had a penchant for stealing my teaspoons out of the diswasher when i was otherwise occupied) it was only because he was checking out what the hell ted was doing mowing his damn lawn in the middle of the night!!! sucks to be spooner......

i have exciting news for you...i got a new vacuum cleaner on the weekend!! (questions...how come expensive vacuums have a head light?? am i supposed to be vacuuming in the dark? sort of like those people on csi always arriving at crime scenes with only a flashlight to look for clues?? in my mind, if you can come up with something as great as dna analysis, you would think when they first arrive at the murder scene, they would just turn on the lights?? if the vacuum light is for looking under beds and in nooks an crannies, that would be a waste. people don't lay on the floor to look under the bed and see what the vacuum has lit up, do they?? and stuff in nooks and crannies BELONGS in nooks and cranies...oh...and can you buy replacement headlights for your vacuum cleaner when the original wears out?? and doesn't it hurt the environment using the extra energy of the headlight when you don't need it?? like vacuuming in the DAYTIME?? just wondering.....)

... oh yeah....my new vacuum...it's got one of those clear dirt catcher thingys.....i've never experienced anything more orgasmic in my whole life!! you should see all the dirt that came out of my rug...i was overwhelmed!! i had to keep vacuuming and then looking into the clear canister to see what treasures i had found...and then...spent...i would have to sit down...all the while, my mind was racing, searching for more cruddy places in my house to suck up into the dream machine...i do worry, that when (more likely IF) my house gets clean, i will slip out at night (maybe there IS a reason for the light...) and intrude on other peoples' dirty rugs to get my fix...i guess that's when i will need to go to safeway and speak to....'the rug doctor'......!

well kids....thanksgiving was a week ago today....it was columbus day in america...my american friend explained to me in no uncertain terms, that columbus day celebrates christopher columbus and not columbus ohio....just so that's clear....here in my little corner of the world we like to stray from tradition when it comes to holiday foods....that's not to say that i haven't cooked a turkey or two in my lifetime, but thanksgiving is just not the time for that!....

...we started out with cocktails (why are they called cock tails when it is something you drink??)....tequila cesears, rimmed with hot chick spice company gomashio, with limes and cucumber spears...for the kids we leave the hot sauce out...next was kolbassa...lots of it, and exceptionally good quality....cheese followed...every kind imaginable (except that bizarre orange/red cone of cheese that my sister buys in france....sucks to be french)...which came first? the chicken or the egg? which came first? the cheese or the cracker? definitely the chesse!!....desert followed, pie....not pumpkin pie....spanikopita....spinach pie!!...turkey free dinner means none of those relatives snoozing in your easy chair from an overdose of tryptophan.....no 'let's put the turkey neck on sleeping uncle joe's lap and snap a picture'....i thought long and hard (that's good right?) about what i am thankful for....

....firstly, i am thankful i am not lactose intolerant!!!...i am thankful that diapers are available in women's XXL (even though i am not lactose intolerant)....oh (just for my dental friend jane) i am thankful for dental floss (yes jane...i floss twice a day!)....chocolate milk from safeway for my coffee....i am thankful that there are still more nice people than assholes in the world, let's keep it that way!!!...i enjoy being pretty and witty, but most of all....i enjoy being gay!!....so kids think of the things you are thankful for now that the tryptophan has worn off, and work exceptionally hard on the asshole thing....stay strong, fly the flag, cheers lulu xoxox

i'm off to watch ice hockey tonight...yes...lulu was once a superstar, but i try to keep that confidential....no sense in upsetting the wanna beeeesss....thinking about hockey brought back memories of road trips past...my team mates were very, very, bad influences on me....on one trip, the bad girls left me back at the hotel to hold fort while they took over the local bar...what to do by myself at the hotel?...shake the magic fingers coin box (for those of you who don't know what magic fingers is, i will not explain because not knowing must be making your imagination run wild...into dirty places!)...what a lot of money!!...my analytical mind kicked in...the money inside the box was held in a paper cup...very high tech eh??...i borrowed a pair of tweezers from the girl with the unibrow, and slowly ripped the paper cup and pulled it out of the box....all i had to do after that was shake all the money out of the crack (the crack on the box!)....it took a very long time, but at last the big pile of loot was mine....i started to worry that if the box was totally empty, they would know the money had been stolen......so, i put lots of money back in...through the coin slot....which meant....the bed ran for 2 days straight!!!!...to this day, ANYTHING that vibrates, sends me rushing out of the room!!!...i learned a big lesson from this expeience.....crime only pays if you don't put the money back into the vibrating bed...."put in a quarter, turn out the light, magic fingers make you feel alright.." jimmy buffett

here's today's highlight...parked in front of the 'bibles for missions thrift store'....the "lust and love shop" van....do you think they were picking up or dropping off??

this is what you see and who you find in my little corner of the world...

it had to start somewhere, so.....this is it....the beginning of your adventures in my little corner of the world.....